Mirror, Mirror Of the World

How easy is this to do! Even I, as aware as I am about projection, the mirror effect, as without-as within, I still discover there is more to dive deeply inside for, to gather yet another fragmented aspect of self to be healed.


When we judge, we are judging an aspect of self, when we gossip in any way, we are gossiping about our own wounds.

When we speak kindly about another, it is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

One of the most poignant questions in one of my coaching sessions gives me a inside, unmasked view of how a person thinks about themselves and what they are NOT giving themselves.

During Covid I took on a labor intense interior design & landscape job--crazy hoarder, and complete redo of a turn of the century Victorian. It was actually shocking to witness how so much damage had been done and piles of 'garbage', big heavy things like what I learned in the front yard was a 'cherry-picker'--because everyone needs a hydraulic crane in their yard?? that was just the beginning..
long story short, for 6 months I hauled away dumpsters and truckloads of junk...

75% of it I did alone. I had no business torturing my body like that! But an old program was running that I wasn't aware of, "NO ONE WILL HELP ME SO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF."

Even after cracking two ribs, hurting my right hip over and over, black-an-blueing my right and left toes by dropping 5 gallon glass jugs of water on them—on two different occasions within 3 weeks of each other! (Or course I had been angry both times, as the owner of the home now livable refused to come out to help me bring things in from the car), I kept going, "I have to get this done."

The body is almost too genius in its ability to compensate! And I took advantage of that by discovering every way possible to ‘get around’ an injury and use another part of my body.

But…The neighbors were thrilled, so I later realized that my 10-14 hour days were fueled not only by the visions I held in my mind of ‘What it could look like" but by the energy of the neighbors thanking me and ‘feeding me joy’ because the Victorian had been neglected for so long including the gardens, that one neighbor even exclaimed, "We all thank you! The transformations you are doing are beyond beautiful! For years this house made our neighborhood look like a slum" Well, although I was grateful, it fed my ego beyond reasonable boundaries of self-care.

So after hurting my body over and over not listening to my inner voice that was screaming to STOP, I carried on--”got to get it done, got to create beauty”…

Because I was unconsciously repeating the mantra, “NOBODY WILL HELP ME, I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF” that is exactly what played out… as it always had… and always will until we heal the core wound and realize, “We are MORE than enough” we don’t need to prove anything to anyone especially our ego playing on the wounded aspects of being force fed by society, religion, parents, schooling… that we had to compare ourselves to others, that we would never do anything good enough to deserve unconditional love.

And I had repeated this deep childhood wound over and over, and even after the multiple injuries from the Victorian job I still didn’t learn about the fine balance of being driven to the point of physical damage, and listening to the concerns and needs of a body that was pushing 70. I wasn’t 40 or 50 or even 60 anymore, where I could lift 50lb buckets of Venetian Plaster and carry them to my car, those days were long gone.

So when I arrived to live in Italy I got so excited because once again “I CAN SEE THE POTENTIAL!” and for over three years in Italy I repeated the same process of not listening to my body, until my body knocked me on my ass and said, ‘Since you refuse to listen, we will make it impossible for you to carry on”

My body was clearly showing me that since I wasn’t paying attention to internal needs because of my drive, often disguised as being a great worker and professional designer, I went from needing to use one of my hiking polls to walk, and yet, I discovered so many ways to continue on with the use of just one arm and leg, until I was forced to use both polls just to get around.

Now I am attempting to rebuild the cartilage in my right hip to avoid a hip replacement. I must say, after getting the MRI’s to SEE the damage, and a lot of research, I have a new respect for my physical structure — and if I had taken the time to do that a decade or two ago I wouldn’t be in this situation!

Moral of this story? Not only is the outer world a DIRECT reflection of our inner beliefs, our physical form is constantly alerting us to what is going in internally and to LISTEN and respond thoughtfully and appropriately!!

WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EVERYTHING—THEY ARE YOU—CONSCIOUSNESS WITNESSING ITSELF.